Interview: Scary Spotlight 1 with Founder of Hear Us Scream Cat Benstead

An outlet grounded in both horror and disability awareness, Bloody Bedroom will feature monthly interviews with chronically ill, disabled, and/or neurodivergent genre creators from within the community. To kick off these Scary Spotlights, I had the honor of interviewing Cat Benstead, the founder of Hear Us Scream, my dear friend, and brilliant mentor.

Dylyn: So, you founded Hear Us Scream in 2021 and I saw that it recently reached above 1,000 followers on Twitter! I just wanted to say that that's a glorious milestone and also wanted to know what inspired you to create Hear Us Scream and how you feel about how fast it's grown!

Cat: I was really lonely during lockdown, so I started a podcast and I really enjoyed speaking to people and being in that space in the horror community. I've always had it on my mind that I've wanted to create things with intention and with purpose. You know, I impulsively go into things, but I don't do it without having a very distinct motivation and purpose behind it, so Hear Us Scream was originally the book concept, which was out of an impulsive tweet that I sent around this time last year, basically saying, ‘Hey, do you know what would be really cool? If there was a book out there where women and non-binary writers shared their love of horror! DM me if you're interested,” and the response I got was just insane. It was, you know, yourself and so many incredible writers and people in the community and I felt really motivated. Usually, I say I'm going to do something and then don't get it done, because of ADHD and having a million different loves and passions and interests and hyperfixations, and when I had so many people being so invested and interested in a concept that I had, I automatically felt accountable to people and their love of horror. I wanted to support that and uplift their voices and I couldn't just let that fall to the wayside. So, I went wholeheartedly into the project. I knew nothing about typesetting, nothing about writing. I come from academia and I knew nothing about personal essay editing. I knew mainly academic editing and I taught myself all these things that I'd never thought in a million years I'd ever teach myself. With the book, I was so in love that I wanted to create something that would show that love through other writers, so the website launched in August with the help of my co-editor-in-chief Violet, who has been not the only support person, obviously, but the person that really helped me know that I could do this and that I would have her support in it. So, in August we launched the website and it's my baby, it's my life now, and it's just such a wonderful concept. I love how interested and invested and how supportive everybody is of the project, and, you know, telling me how important it is. It’s not until you have those moments where you realize that you are achieving that purpose that you set out to do.

Dylyn: It has been such an overwhelmingly kind and compassionate community that you've cultivated in “The Scream Team,” as we call it, and you have inspired me and so many other people to raise our voices about our favorite genre. I also wanted to say, I get the ADHD thing so much! This is probably the first creative project I've really finished or started! Also, Violet is just an angel!

So, Hear Us Scream as well as having an ever-broadening online presence, of course, has a physical one as well and I was super honored to be included in the first volume of Hear Us Scream: The Voices of Horror. I know that the second volume is coming soon and I just wanted to know what you can tell us about it! I'm so excited for Volume Two!

Cat: I am so excited as well! Last week or the week before, our pitch submissions closed, so we have received about 60 pitches, which is absolutely insane. There's some really notable people who've also submitted, which is very intimidating but also incredibly humbling and a huge honor that they considered this project to submit their concept and story to. So, we have read through it and are currently narrowing down the submissions. All of our editors have gotten a copy of the pitches and we’re basically going to do a voting system. We will select 30 essays instead of the 25 that we did previously, so it's going to be a much bigger volume this time around and we are going to be announcing the writers hopefully by the end of April, fingers crossed, just to get everybody informed, so that in May, we can launch our Indiegogo campaign, which will, obviously, feature ebook copies of Volume Two or physical copies, but it'll also have an exclusive t-shirt design, which you have seen. I'm really excited to get it out there finally!

Dylyn: I have seen the t-shirt design and it looks absolutely gorgeous! I think people are going to be really excited about this campaign and I can't wait to see it come to life!

So, Here Us Scream now also has a bustling video presence that you just began. I have a few questions about that. I wanted to know what you're looking forward to most with Hear Us Scream’s video component. I know that you have a lot of amazing surprises for us when it comes to that, but also given that you run not one but TWO podcasts, could Hear Us Scream ever be found in an audio format?!

Cat: Hmm, so YouTube, yes! Super excited about that. There is already a video up with Caitlin Marceau, who just released her first short story collection Palimpsest, which is awesome. My grandma just read it and absolutely adored it. Her comments were, “She writes like Stephen King” and that's a pretty high compliment for my grandma! We also have a video coming out hopefully in the next couple of days. It’s a panel interview with Mae Murray, the editor of The book of Queer Saints, and a few of their writers. We have Hailey Piper, James Bennett, and Nikki R. Leigh, who joined us for a discussion on queer representation and independent publishing. We talked about where to find some really cool books and how to support really cool authors. Then, we talked about the very important topic of queer representation from their perspective and it was just a very enlightening conversation. It was amazing and I learnt so much. We also have a few more interviews coming out. We have one with Mattie Doe, who recently released her second movie, The Long Walk, and tomorrow, there will be an interview, hopefully, we can film—we haven't gotten confirmation on that just yet—with Goran Stolevski, who’s doing a Macedonian folk horror film called You Won’t Be Alone. So, one of our writers will be interviewing Goran, which is really exciting…then audio, we've got audio next. I want to start a podcast network, to be honest, but I've got to work out how to do that and juggle that, because I'd really love to be able to offer those services or that opportunity to people who want a podcast but can't afford subscriptions for different services. I already have that kind of stuff paid for, so I'd love to be able to share it with other podcasters. It would be the Hear Us Scream Podcast Network. So, my next goal is to launch the podcast network, fingers crossed.

Dylyn: Wow. You have so many projects already under your belt and so many more that are coming. I thought the interview with Caitlin Marceau was amazing and I was so excited there were captions so I could follow along. Being hard of hearing, you've made the videos not only engaging but also incredibly accessible, which I was so excited about. Also, I wrote a book review about Mae Murray’s editing debut, The book of Queer Saints, which was absolutely phenomenal. I was so elated about that queer representation. I can't wait to watch that video! I'm also looking forward to seeing The Long Walk as well and hearing more about that. I'm ALSO psyched for the idea of a podcast network and will be following all of this no matter what!

So, moving on to the next question: while my undergrad is in Psych and English—we were actually talking about this before the interview—the majority of my writing was in an academic setting. So, I only knew how to write academically. I did not know how to do personal essays or conversational-style writing, so you've played a quintessential role in my gaining a voice as a film reviewer, editorialist, and columnist. So, going back to accessibility, I wanted to say that not only do you make Hear Us Scream accessible for your writers, which is something I deeply value as a disabled writer myself, you constantly encourage the people who write for you, which creates a really positive and warm environment. So, my question is, what words of encouragement might you give to someone who wants to write about film but might be nervous like I was to get started? Additionally, how might you advise other review outlets to be more accessible for their writers?

Cat: Ooh, this is a really good one! For those who want to start writing, I personally didn't start out as a reviewer, critic, or editorial writer at all. I also come from academia, so I found it really hard to transition over to writing my opinion on things, because in my university degree, we have to write fact. There's not a lot of room for opinion, so it was being able to form that that was really difficult for me, but if you want to write, I feel like there's always a space for somebody. For me, I didn't know where to find that space, so I created it and that's the part where it gets a little bit hard for people. It's like, where is this space for me? Where do I go to share my passion about film? So, Hear Us Scream is always looking for contributors. We are a volunteer-run site at the moment. We're working on revenue streams to help pay our writers, but I'm eternally grateful for those who do write and I will always support them no matter what. I do the same for new writers as well. I want us to be a space that helps writers move on to the next thing for themselves, whether that be covering South by Southwest (SXSW) or going to Boston Underground Film Festival or traveling overseas to attend horror conventions to cover them via press. I might not be able to give monetary encouragement and incentives, but I want to give as many opportunities for our writers as possible. I don't consider them my writers, we're a big team together. I don't think anyone's above anyone else in their writing. Some of us are still learning how to write and I think that that's amazing that Hear Us Scream can provide that opportunity. Regarding accessibility, first thing’s first, if you are not paying your writers, do not expect deadlines. I don't expect deadlines. I ask our writers, ‘Hey, when do you think you can get this in?’ If they say, ‘Oh, not for another two weeks,’ that's fine. I have an open door policy. I will never, never, ever have any issue or discriminate against mental or physical health. Life comes before Hear Us Scream, first and foremost. I have people saying, ‘I'm so sorry, Cat, I had a really bad weekend. I can't get this in.’ I'm like, ‘That's fine and thanks for letting me know, look after yourself.’ That's so important. I encourage that. I understand, I've been there before. Being able to understand and empathize and show compassion for other people's personal lives, I hope that that encourages them to also seek better treatment from their paid work or their employment and that they will expect others to show them the same kindness. I know it's not very often that that happens.

Dylyn: Because of your support, how open you are with communication, and how much you've helped me grow not only as a writer but as a person, I have felt so much more confident in myself and my ability to talk about my mental health and chronic illness stuff. That’s what inspired me to create a website like this dedicated to disability and neurodivergence. I really hope to see more presences like yours in the world and more outlets like Hear Us Scream, because it’s such a needed environment in a world that often shuts down people who might not think the way we're always told to think. It helps people to branch out and just be themselves.

Cat: Yeah, absolutely. I want to foster that in people, so that they can go out and expect that treatment from other people, that we can all learn to value ourselves and value our hard work and that it is appreciated, because I know that a lot of people don't get that in their everyday lives. I love it when I get that from people. It’s encouraging and I'm motivated and I feel like I want to do the best that I can and if I'm not showing things like support and empathy and compassion, then those people aren't going to feel supported. They're just going to feel like they’re just another writer. I'm sure that a lot of horror outlets do similar things, where they’re supportive, because it is a great community and I want to maintain that momentum and the standards our community has for treating one another.

Dylyn: Oh, the horror community is the best. I met you as well as so many other incredible, kind people and I wouldn't be anywhere without them. I say that all the time and I cannot stress how compassionate and encouraging the horror community has been and I'm so grateful to be a part of it.

Cat: Yeah, it's pretty amazing and for myself, I've only really been in the horror community since like July 2020. When we went into lockdown, I didn't see my partner for three or four months because I'm immunocompromised. Well, I'm not immunocompromised yet. I will be. I have an autoimmune disease, and I was lonely, and the horror community was there for me every single day. My partner was as well obviously, but not physically. So, throughout the days, I just felt so supported and so welcome and I had that social thing going. Every day, I looked forward to logging into Discord or onto Twitter and seeing what everyone was up to. It feels like a little cozy family.

Dylyn: It’s definitely so wonderful to see how big this creepy, scary, supportive, loving, kind, and strange world is and I definitely look forward to talking to all of you every day too.

So, to talk a little bit more about accessibility and disability and also coziness, which is what I based my website off of, I created Bloody Bedroom, because I've spent the majority of my life watching horror movies, often alone, in my own bloody bedroom, so to speak. In fact, that's where I do most of my projects and writing as well. So, I was wondering if you find yourself, as somebody who also experiences a chronic illness, doing a lot of projects in your bedroom and if you watch a lot of horror in there. If so, what is your dream scary-movies-in-bed set-up?

Cat: I spend a lot of time in my bedroom as someone who suffers through—I haven't labeled it a chronic illness yet, because it's chronic pain—we don’t know what the illness is yet, so we are getting to that point. I find myself some days where I can't move, because my hips are flared up and it's affecting the way that I can walk and just function in everyday life. I'm also on lots of different medications that make me tired, so being in bed is the best place in the entire world. I like to snuggle up with my laptop, I'll have Hear Us Scream on my computer or I'll have my university homework going, and I have like a 32-inch curved monitor for my computer, so I'll raise it up and point it towards my bed. During lockdown and working from home, I'd watch like five movies a day and it was just so wonderful to be able to relax, know when I needed to rest, and just do what I needed to do. It's taken me a long time to get to that point where I accept that my body doesn't function the way it used to every day. I can't expect myself to do and be as busy as what I was five years ago before this all happened, so I really appreciate all the solace and comfort that my room offers me. I've made a really cool setup. You can see all my posters. I've got cool lights that I put on when I'm watching scary movies.

Dylyn: Yeah, I'm looking at your posters right now! I see Ghostface right there. Hi, Ghostface!

Cat: I've got some taxidermy here, Edward Scissorhands, Crybaby.

Dylyn: Oh! I see Crybaby there. It's so wonderful! Oh, wow, those are beautiful!

Cat: The other ones are by a friend.

Dylyn: I would love to know who did those!

Cat: His name is Scott Harrison. I will send you a link to his art! (A link to Scott’s art!)

Dylyn: Amazing! I would love to see more of it and it's so wonderful that you’ve created this haven of sorts, to be able to rest and to do your favorite thing, which is watching horror films and also to just be listening to your body and what it needs.

Cat: It’s hard to accept it. It's so hard to be like, I'm 32 and I have a stabbing pain in my ass right now, and it's not sciatica, it's my SIJ, my sacroiliac joint, that is causing the pain, but lockdown changed my life. It changed my career. It gave me the horror community and it taught me to listen to my body.

Dylyn: Yeah, and it sounds like you really do and that you pass this advice onto other people who might not—I-I'm talking about myself (laughs)…

Cat: Other people = me (laughs)!

Dylyn: I don't rest when I need to. I have had to pay heavily for that kind of thing and for you to be like, ‘Hey, this is what I need today. I’m just going to rest and watch horror movies and I'll get back to work when I'm able to,’ that's a wonderful and inspirational message that I think a lot of us need to hear.

Cat: I think this generation needs to full-stop. Whether you're chronically ill or not, listen to your body! I hate hustle culture. I hate “work hard, play hard”...like no.

Dylyn: You beat me to it. I'm against it too. We were talking about anti-capitalism and productivity culture, things like that, and I think that to include rest in a culture where rest is discouraged is so wonderful and a big part of your message. It really inspires me.

So, to continue on a little bit about horror and blood and bedrooms and all that good stuff, do you have a favorite horror movie bedroom or favorite scary movie bedroom scene?

Cat: Yes! It’s going to answer questions one and two: Glen's bedroom in A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), because it's so eighties with his TV set-up, and I was like, I would totally have a room like that (laughs)! Also, his death scene (laughs again).

Dylyn: Yeah, where the blood is just shooting up towards the wall.

Cat: Chef's kiss.

Dylyn: I don't know how much of that was practical, but I absolutely love that scene too, and for his debut role…and his debut death, I guess, that was absolutely killer!

Cat: They used, I think, like 500 gallons of blood or something, something ridiculous.

Dylyn: Oh my God. Imagine going to the store to buy that (laughs).

Cat: “Why do you need this?”

Dylyn: “It's nothing.”

Cat: “Don't worry. I just have an obsession with fake blood, alright?”

Dylyn: I love that scene too.

So, one more bedroom-oriented question here. I have a term that I don't know if other people use, but I've always called films that feel good on my heart or feel good to my heart or are cozy comfort films my “heart films.”

Cat: I love that!

Dylyn: Thank you! I was wondering what horror film feels extra snuggly to you, like a nice feather pillow or a gentle warm hug, and in your opinion is a perfect watch for a cozy night in. ALSO, what is your favorite either go-to movie snack or midnight snack?

Cat: OOH! So, my movie would be, it might shock you, The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993).

Dylyn: Ooh, okay!

Cat: Yep. I know every word, every song, I listen to the soundtrack whenever I'm feeling like I need a little bit of a pick-me-up. It's a film that offered me a lot of company when I was a kid. When I was younger, I lost my aunt and cousin in an accident and that same year, The Nightmare Before Christmas came out, so, I think I watched it like every day. My dad said I was obsessed, like he'd come home from work and I had that movie on. Then, a couple of years went by and I didn't really think about it that much and then in my teens, I picked up a DVD copy of it and I swear, I just burnt a hole in it watching it so many times. It's just one of those films that I absolutely adore. I can't fault it. I'm obsessed. I love the soundtrack. Henry Sellick is a fantastic stop-motion designer and fantastic director. My movie snack would probably be extra-butter popcorn in the microwave or cheese and crackers. I'm not a sweets person, so I'll have a big bottle of Coke, but no candy, just salty.

Dylyn: Amazing. First of all, I just recently saw The Nightmare Before Christmas for the first time and I loved it. I’ll be rewatching it again, because it has so much meaning to you and I really want to immerse myself in that world again. I could see how that film brought you a lot of comfort when you really needed it and I can really relate to having films like that myself. As far as movie snacks go, I am a sweets person but butter popcorn and a big Coke with The Nightmare Before Christmas sounds like an amazing experience and set-up.

Cat: Yeah, that's good fun! Maybe I'll watch that tonight…No, I've got things to do, Catherine, stop it (laughs).

Dylyn: I'm definitely going to rewatch it this week. Thank you again for letting me talk your ear off and for visiting with me and for including me in Hear Us Scream! Is there anything else that you wanted to add or say?

Cat: Just thank you to you. You are incredible and I'm so glad you're part of the team.

Dylyn: I'm so honored to be part of the team.

Cat: I’m so honored to have you in the team!

Dylyn: I'm the more honored (laughs)…let's not fight in front of everyone (laughs again). Thank you again for everything. I can't wait to see the Indiegogo campaign and the videos that you're going to upload soon and just everything that the Scream Team has to bring to the table.

Cat: Thanks for having me.

To keep up with Cat’s amazing work in the community, make sure to check out Hear Us Scream and follow her on Twitter and Instagram!